Have you ever been in one? I'm not talking about the inconveniences on the road, I'm talking about those points in life where you get stuck. I mean REALLY stuck. No matter how hard you try to get out of it, no matter what angle you try, things still basically remain the same.
That's where I'm at right now. It seems no matter what way I try to approach life in general, something is always "off." Sometimes it's an unhealthy living situation, sometimes it's my job, sometimes it's relationships. It seems as soon as I try to fix one area of life, another is magnified 10 times over. And I don't know how to handle it.
Any advice?
Big hugs for you girl! I am no expert, but I think that after all that we can do to better our lot, sometimes (if not always) our problems are a matter of expectations and perception.
ReplyDeleteFor a good reason parents train their children to think that they are in charge of their own future happiness. You obviously were also trained to think that you could "set up" your affairs to make a happy life for yourself, so you think that any existing and especially persistent problems are your fault. That kind of thinking is very frequent among some religious people who think that if they just follow certain recipe, their life should be "blessed" with a continuous happiness. It doesn't work! Everyone experiences adversity.
Expectations - I always say that all unhappiness is due to faulty expectations. Think about it: is it really reasonable to expect that the bad events in your life shouldn't happen to you? Do they not happen to others? What would make you so special that you would not be a subject to the same variables and chances? If you see all the things that happen to you as "your random lot in life", as something that the "life's lottery" assigned to you, then you can't blame yourself or anybody else. That's your hand - play with it the best game you can.
Perception - On the scale of human tragedy where are your problems? Are they permanent or a passing thing? Count your many blessings and concentrate on them. It is scientifically proven that happiness is a matter of perception and not of actual circumstances.
And another thing - life is an adventure, like a camping trip. Sometimes mosquitos bite, sometimes you are cold and have to go in a rain to take a pee, but sometimes you have great fun and experience sights of breath-taking beauty. With time you will remember EVERY camping trip with joy, even the rainy ones. When you are 80 years old what will be your perspective on today's problems? What about even 5 years from now?
To summarize - I know it's hard sometimes to do that, having difficulties myself, but try to remember and implement two cardinal rules:
1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. All stuff is small stuff.*
*with the exception of other people's suffering.
And one more thing: Jesus was infinitely wise when He gave people the commandment to dedicate themselves to the service of others - because it brings more happiness to the service givers than to the serviced ones.
Love, hugs and warm thoughts sent your way...
Jurek said it very well. Nonetheless I am praying you get out of your pothole, perceived or not.
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